Blah

I am both very very happy and a little sad. I am ecstatic that I went to Baycon this weekend but sad that our cat Feisty died on Monday. I had a great time at Baycon and that upset my Hubby. He wanted me to comfort him and instead I went to Baycon this weekend. I had no idea the cat was that close to dying. He got really mad at me and we almost split up this weekend. It was very stressful at the same time while I was having fun at the Con. I guess I am just not the best person to comfort others or something. I do my best but I end up letting people down. A lot of hurtful things were said back and forth between Hubby and I. I ended up moving back in to Hubby’s house but for how long I don’t know. The two of us are supposed to move to Las Vegas together because it is cheaper to live there.

The problem is we need a loan to get there and no one is giving out loans right now. We need about $10,000 or so, so we can move and have rent covered for a while so I can have time to get a job. I already have an account with Virgin Money so all I need is someone out there who wants to make 10% or so on their money by lending it to us. You people don’t even have to use your own money if you don’t want to. You can take the money form a credit card or something. I know there are some of you out there who still have good credit. Why not make the money and credit work for you and make you money? I even have good plans on how I am to pay back that loan. It can be a short term loan if you want just let me borrow it. Great, now I am starting to sound desperate. If you want you can ignore the desperate sounding part.

There are so many other things I want to blog about but they are so personal that I just can’t risk the whole world knowing about everything. I was told that some things should not be blogged about. You know how we have some chapters in our lives that we go through and then they are over? I sometimes want to go back to the beginning of some of those chapters and jump ahead to others. What bothers me a bit about myself is that if I had to do it all over again, I would still have gone to Baycon. I won’t give up that experience for anything. It was too wonderful. I am just sorry that it had to put such a black mark on my relationship with Hubby. Shit happens and now it is time for us to move on with life together. I wish I knew exactly what I wanted and once I do know what I want I wish to have the courage to carry out what I want or need.

Stressed Out

Well, between my freelance job thing, security, dance lessons, moving to my own place, moving back again to the old place, moving to Las Vegas soon, and Baycon this weekend, I have a lot on my plate this week. That and our cat Feisty is dying. Needless to say, I am a bit stressed out. My biggest project is getting all of our crap sorted through and put into boxes.



I am also upset that Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol! I am pretty sure he will still get a record deal and will still make albums so I guess it is not so bad. I am sure he will sell more then Kris. I am still and forever going to practically worship Adam Lambert so that will never change.



Lately I have been listening to a lot of music to calm me down. My car overheated on my way to work last Saturday and I ended up missing a day of work because of it. That means close to $100 down the drain.



Well that is all I have time for I am about to meet a friend for Baycon.

Moved Sort Of

I have moved into a place of my own. It is a room rented in a house next to my mom who rents another room in the same house. I now live in a tiny room in San Jose. I also still live at my old place occasionally. I go back and forth. Right now Hubby and I are going through a trial separation but we are still together and still love each other and are NOT getting a divorce. We just both have some things to work out on our own. I need to learn to be less lazy and he has his own shit to deal with. I still sometimes spend the night at his place for convenience. That is all I am going to say on the subject.

Cosmetology

I have this new landlord who also wants to be my boss. In order to work for her, though, I must go to Cosmetology school. The problem with that is that I can’t afford the schooling so I am not sure I can get the job she is offering. Then she said I can work for her by answering phones and cleaning and stuff if I learn how to do a manicure and a pedicure well enough. So I have two tests to pass, nail polish test, and a manicure/pedicure test. I am not sure I am doing so well. I am not sure I can work with her but I will try my best to make things work somehow so I don’t lose my new place.

I am also looking into a work at home job where I can be a receptionist or something while working at home. I really really hope that works out. I also still hope I get a bartending job at nights. Life is not easy right now.