She’s Baaaack! More Neshamah at the KoC

I had a blast last night on that dance floor! Then my tummy got upset and produced too much acid so I had much pain and tummy trouble. The rest of the time so I took a mini nap in one of the back booths til it was time to go to our usual Denny's run. Timmy made me something with bubble so I could move without puking (that wasn't pleasant, I puked anyway). Apparently we are all getting the flu over here. And I got to drive cuz Bruce while ok still had enough alcohol in his system it would have gotten him a DUI if pulled over. Yay I love driving stick shifts! My poor tummy kept me sleeping worse than normal which is basically saying sore than badly and I am not allowed naps or caffeine today since 2nite is the sleep study. At least I will be good and tired by the time I get there. All I could have at Denny's was toast with no butter since everything else has either too much grease, sugar, or both. lol I think I will need to fix my diet once I get my own place all fixed in my life. One step at a time things will get better. I am glad I got to see so many people I love there last night. I mean everyone I hadn't seen in a while was there for at least a little bit so I could have plenty of hugs which I needed to cheer me up after the traffic on 101 among other things really pissed me off to the point I flipped out and went on a bit of a tirade. I am so glad they put up with me and my shit. They still do not hate me so I guess it wasn't that bad. Oh and I am back on an older stabilizer from b4 instead of the stuff I have been on so that would help keep me more stable. At least I did get on the dance floor but was so into the movement cheering me up that I forgot all about getting people to take pics. I was popping out of my top quite a bit too so I tied my other thingy over it just in case but it was still way too revealing. Not that I minded one bit but, eh, not exactly comfortable without enough support while moving around that much. I may just have to model it again at some point. I can also find my normal over shirt that I have over it and wear it again next week. That way I can have several layers to be peeled off at any point as usual, well…I am Miss Behaved.

Why/How I Am Now the Bad Guy. Goodbye Family

I think I may just have to turn into the bad guy in this case...And no, none of you really want to know, but still....big sighs. What must be done, must be done for the good of all, for the greater good or the lesser evil.

Though I do understand that choosing the lesser of evils is still Evil, so that makes me the only one strong enough to do the right thing and become the bad guy. I am truly sorry it must be this way, truly.




I am doing something i swore I'd never ever do. I am doing something i promised would never happen. But oh is it so nessassary. I should have done this back at Christmas when I saw her hit him... hard on the head. Why did I wait this long? Why has no one else told the social worker truth? Fear, Fear, fear is the only excuse but it is not good enough. I must put an end to this distruction, I must or forever hold my peace which has been greatly dissrupted by all this shit

I am reporting my neice and nephew be removed from my sis-in-laws care. and yes that is the evil I speak of. This will gurrentee that any ties that i may have still had with that family after the divorce is now severed forever.

I am truly forced to say goodby by doing this
I should have done it back in December

I was too full of hope then

I was too scared then

I was too fucked up my self back then

still i use the words, should have

and it will cost me greatly. I will also suffer. I am the only one willing to reap such consequences

they will ALL hate me

they are at my mom in laws house able to kill her at any moment with just one tiny kick to her stomach. She could be gone in a blink of an eye. How dare i leave that place bc someone offered to feed me and mom said to go away now i was no longer needed?
how dare I? Even though they were asleep when i left at 1am how could i go?

I could use some prayer....ok loads and tons of em

I must stay srong, not let this kill or distroy me, I must pull through this and it will make me stronger.

As of today I may no longer have ANY family for what I am doing but if i dont, more lives could be lost & mine matters not. Children come first, mom is worth it even if she dissagrees. I am truely sorry.

I must stay srong, not let this kill or distroy me, I must pull through this and it will make me stronger.

Update on How I Am

I am surviving and following well laid out plans on fixing things in my life with the proper amount of flexibility for the unkowns in life. I am still having a blast and working well throught the shit I am currently wading through (metaphorically of course, lol, can you imagin? Yuck!) Anyways, I am going to great places and soon. I put out several lines and cast our more reels so I am thinking at least one of them should bite by July first so I will finally have a place to live so I am no longer homeless. I am excited to see what more life will through my way in all this but also have maps, plans, guidlines, rules, values, statndards, and all those other good things that make up a full and complete life. hmm I think I will put this on my blog too...

Just found these quotes, LOL!

These are great quotes:

Brain Cramps:

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

" I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,                                  -Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George Bush, US President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman