Breakfast Burritoes

Most of my life I have hated cooking and told everyone that I suck at it. Well with some encouragement from my hubby I have started to make him Vegetarian spaghetti and blueberry pancakes over the years of our marriage. He says I make perfect spaghetti and perfect pancakes and is always so happy when I make some for him or us. Well I still hate cooking at still tell everyone I suck at cooking but within the last month I have attempted to make some things I never have before. I really had no idea what I was doing but I wanted to prove that I truly suck at cooking. I started to make breakfast burritos within that last two weeks. At first I used the frozen hash browns from the store but then last night I actually skinned and chopped up a bunch of red potatoes for me to cook this morning. I also made scrambled eggs with cheese to put in the burritos. As hard as I tried to screw it up to prove I had no skill in the kitchen the damn things turned out perfect and tasted really good. I have no idea how. I know this will sound really uh conceded of me or something but I sometimes really with that I wasn’t automatically good at everything I try. It all just comes out good naturally. Well I know I am not good at everything in the world but I don’t really truly suck at anything either. The problem is that this way I have no real good excuse not to do something. I end up having to do all this shit anyway because I can and because I can then it is expected of me. I only wish I was exceptionally spectacular at a few things so I could use that and make a bunch of money from it all. But nooooo, I have to be just relatively good at too many things so I have really nothing incredible to market to people about myself. I don’t know how to apply all my skills and talents so I have no idea how to use them to make me money. It would be nice if someone who knows me really well and that I trust would just start telling me what to do so I can do it and have that make me the money I need to survive. So far in reading this blog it sounds like I am complaining about something I should not be complaining about I am only hoping someone else out there understands what I mean by all this. I do not mean to sound conceded or to brag about myself I just wanted to say that sometimes it really sucks to not have much of a direction. In college I was interested in every subject so I wanted to take every class. I couldn’t pick just one field of study so because I picked them all I got a general Liberal Arts degree. I may have taken more classes than most people but no one really respects the Liberal Arts unless that is what they have too. So what direction am I supposed to go when my interests and abilities are pulling me in all directions at once? How do I get out of this funk so I can start truly supporting myself?

I had a pre interview today. My mom was going to a job fair for an apartment manager position and I asked if I could go too. We both made a great impression and did an excellent job with the pre interview. We were told to wait for an email that would show up on Monday if they are interested in us. So now I just wait and pray that I get the interview then wait and pray some more that I get the job. Wish me luck, cross your fingers and pray for me to get the job. The way things are going I need all the help I can get.

Yoville

Hubby got me started on this game on a Facebook app called Yoville. It is a lot like the SIMS game on the XBOX but with a few differences. On Yoville you basically have an apartment of your own without a bathroom (which you earn later by going up in level) and once you get a bathroom it has no toilet or sink. You have to find a way to get a toilet or a sink. Then once you get those items, your character is not able to wash their hands but they can sit on the toilet. You get to go to work every 6 hours or so to make Yoville coins and they never amount to much (kind of like real life huh?). You never have enough to buy the cool stuff in town. You get a map so you can instantly go anywhere. I prefer to go fishing or to the speedway where you can bike race. You get points for visiting each of your friends and you can find pots of gold on their profiles. You can also send virtual gifts to your friends and they can put the stuff in their apartment. When you get to a high enough level, I believe you can buy a house in the game. There are several bugs in the make up of the game for instance: If you play the game in Firefox then it may not count the pots of gold you found properly. It is a game best played in Explorer.

I started a new business plan the other day and I have gotten pretty far so far but I screwed up on one part so I am taking a break and will come back to it later. I hope to go to karaoke on Sunday with my friends and Hubby wants to go this time. I would rather he go with me tomorrow then on Sunday.

Late

We are late by 25 days in moving to Palm Springs and it is driving my poor Hubby crazy. I am going crazy because he is going crazy and I have no idea what to do to fix everything for him. I have been learning php programming and so far it is difficult. I will just keep on working my butt off to get us outta here.

On a positive note we did go and visit my Aunt for her 50th birthday. We took two days to visit in Fresno. I got to see horses and my cousin and her kids who were so cute! The little one is 3 months old and the older boy is a year old. They are great kids and it was a great visit. I will put up pics on flickr for my family to look at soon but so far I reached my limit of pic uploads on flickr. If you care to look at the public photos I have up already then here is the link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/violetsungoddess.

A New Online Begining

I am going to transfer all of my blogs from myspace to this bog. I am not sure how well it will turn out but i will do my best.

Adam Lambert

I had a dream that I was dating Adam Lambert. We were going to the same drama class and it was awesome! I got to make out with him in my dream and that was much fun. I didn't want to wake up.

Bank Issues

I went to the bank on the 19th of this month to make a withdrawal and asked the bank teller how much I had in my account. He said I had $200.18 in my account. I told him I would take out $200 then. So I we made the transaction and I went home with my $200. A few days later (which was also a few days ago) I found out that my account had been overdrawn. I was like “WHAT!!! How did that happen?” So I went back to the bank and found out that the account got overdrawn when I took out the $200. I asked them how that was possible when I specifically asked how much I had available before I took out the money. Well, they had no idea so it took some time before the guy behind the counter figured out what had happened. He even had to call over another lady to read his computer screen for him so they could get things straight. What had happened was that the $15 or so dollars that I spent at IHOP for food turned into $17 or so dollars after a tip adjustment. You see, the $15 went through on one day and that was before I took out the $200 so it didn’t show anything pending and the tip adjustment went through on another day which was about $2.00. That $2.00 made my account go over by about $2.18. there was no way that anyone could have known that the tip was going to be adjusted and go through on a different day. So I got screwed with overdraft charges and had to fill out a form to request them to be reversed. Note to self: never take out all of your money in your account; leave at least $5-$10 in your account at any time.

Always Tired

It really sucks that I can’t blog about what I am doing for fear of someone taking our ideas and running with them. I have been doing pretty much nothing but sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom and working on these projects we are trying to get off the ground. It is driving me insane but I am doing the best I can. The problem is that my best isn’t good enough. I keep sleeping all the time and I don’t know why. I just can’t seem to stay awake. I would get some work done and then fall asleep when it comes time to read stuff and learn it. Hubby thinks I may have a sleep disorder or I am eating the wrong things. I just don’t know. I sometimes find myself not caring about anything because I am too tired. This needs to be fixed with something other than caffeine.

Palm Springs

Well folks we are moving to Palm Springs instead of Las Vegas. I think I will like it better there. We are going to open our own naturist resort in Pam springs and we are going to cater to all the people that the other three nude friendly places don’t. I am going to write the business plan most of today even though we are going to Kiva as a family. My mom, father in law, Hubby and me are all going. I do not know yet if my sister is coming with us or not. Instead of getting a loan we are going to ask everyone we know to donate at least a dollar or more to the non-profit organization we are going to set up to send naturists to college. So give it up people, it is only a dollar and it would help us out a lot. We are going to put up a website so you can donate online soon. In the meantime just find a way to give me a buck and I will put your name down as one of our donors. We hope to get a million people in one month to give us at least one dollar for this project. We will never stop receiving donations since we are sending people to collage.

Hubby and mommy dug a four foot hole and berried our cat. It took three days to get the job done because the ground was very hard and there were a lot of big rocks to dig up. They are tired and sore now so going to Kiva will be nice for them and be relaxing. I will be putting up pics after I get permission to do so.

On other news Hubby and I are working things out as a couple and are going to be just fine. I am not sure yet what rules we are going to have for our relationship but we will come up with something.

Well, I have a whole lot of work to do if I am going to get this project off the ground so I am going to get to it.

Blah

I am both very very happy and a little sad. I am ecstatic that I went to Baycon this weekend but sad that our cat Feisty died on Monday. I had a great time at Baycon and that upset my Hubby. He wanted me to comfort him and instead I went to Baycon this weekend. I had no idea the cat was that close to dying. He got really mad at me and we almost split up this weekend. It was very stressful at the same time while I was having fun at the Con. I guess I am just not the best person to comfort others or something. I do my best but I end up letting people down. A lot of hurtful things were said back and forth between Hubby and I. I ended up moving back in to Hubby’s house but for how long I don’t know. The two of us are supposed to move to Las Vegas together because it is cheaper to live there.

The problem is we need a loan to get there and no one is giving out loans right now. We need about $10,000 or so, so we can move and have rent covered for a while so I can have time to get a job. I already have an account with Virgin Money so all I need is someone out there who wants to make 10% or so on their money by lending it to us. You people don’t even have to use your own money if you don’t want to. You can take the money form a credit card or something. I know there are some of you out there who still have good credit. Why not make the money and credit work for you and make you money? I even have good plans on how I am to pay back that loan. It can be a short term loan if you want just let me borrow it. Great, now I am starting to sound desperate. If you want you can ignore the desperate sounding part.

There are so many other things I want to blog about but they are so personal that I just can’t risk the whole world knowing about everything. I was told that some things should not be blogged about. You know how we have some chapters in our lives that we go through and then they are over? I sometimes want to go back to the beginning of some of those chapters and jump ahead to others. What bothers me a bit about myself is that if I had to do it all over again, I would still have gone to Baycon. I won’t give up that experience for anything. It was too wonderful. I am just sorry that it had to put such a black mark on my relationship with Hubby. Shit happens and now it is time for us to move on with life together. I wish I knew exactly what I wanted and once I do know what I want I wish to have the courage to carry out what I want or need.

Stressed Out

Well, between my freelance job thing, security, dance lessons, moving to my own place, moving back again to the old place, moving to Las Vegas soon, and Baycon this weekend, I have a lot on my plate this week. That and our cat Feisty is dying. Needless to say, I am a bit stressed out. My biggest project is getting all of our crap sorted through and put into boxes.



I am also upset that Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol! I am pretty sure he will still get a record deal and will still make albums so I guess it is not so bad. I am sure he will sell more then Kris. I am still and forever going to practically worship Adam Lambert so that will never change.



Lately I have been listening to a lot of music to calm me down. My car overheated on my way to work last Saturday and I ended up missing a day of work because of it. That means close to $100 down the drain.



Well that is all I have time for I am about to meet a friend for Baycon.

Moved Sort Of

I have moved into a place of my own. It is a room rented in a house next to my mom who rents another room in the same house. I now live in a tiny room in San Jose. I also still live at my old place occasionally. I go back and forth. Right now Hubby and I are going through a trial separation but we are still together and still love each other and are NOT getting a divorce. We just both have some things to work out on our own. I need to learn to be less lazy and he has his own shit to deal with. I still sometimes spend the night at his place for convenience. That is all I am going to say on the subject.

Cosmetology

I have this new landlord who also wants to be my boss. In order to work for her, though, I must go to Cosmetology school. The problem with that is that I can’t afford the schooling so I am not sure I can get the job she is offering. Then she said I can work for her by answering phones and cleaning and stuff if I learn how to do a manicure and a pedicure well enough. So I have two tests to pass, nail polish test, and a manicure/pedicure test. I am not sure I am doing so well. I am not sure I can work with her but I will try my best to make things work somehow so I don’t lose my new place.

I am also looking into a work at home job where I can be a receptionist or something while working at home. I really really hope that works out. I also still hope I get a bartending job at nights. Life is not easy right now.

Bartending School

Hi, sorry I haven’t written in a while but I have been
really busy for the last few weeks. I went to Bartending School. It was awesome!
I got to learn a whole bunch of drinks. I learned mixers, shooters, martinis,
tropical drinks, margaritas, beers, coffee drinks and so much more. I really
liked it. I had to go all the way to San Francisco for the two week course and
still had to go to work in Santa Cruz for security on the weekends. Hubby drove
me to school the whole two weeks because there was no parking under $10 for a
day and they were too far away. We figured the gas would cost about the same
and he needed the car for other things anyway. The first week of school was
very grueling. I had no idea there would be so much work involved. It was tough
remembering all that stuff. By the second week though I got the hang of things and
it was easier to remember everything and memorize the last few days worth of
drinks. We had to memorize somewhere between 13 and 25 drinks per day or so. It
was a fun challenge. I graduated from the San Francisco School of Bartending on
Friday. Since then I have hand delivered about 25 resumes. I got to meet the
owner of some of the bars I went to in my area. Hubby was nice enough to drive
me to all the bars we could find on our own. Tomorrow we are going to go to all
the places in the phone book that we haven’t gone to yet.

We were supposed to go to the beach today to celebrate my
success in passing the exam and getting certified as a bartender but it rained
all day so we couldn’t go. I was very disappointed.

My mom and step dad have been over at our place a lot. It is
very nice to see them. Mom helped me study for the last couple of weeks. It has
been nice having her around. I only wish she and my older sister got along
better than they do.

I have more business plans to write so I better go and work
on it.

I Wrote This While At Work Today

I am bored. I have so far had a normal day at work. I have
been doing my rounds on time and sitting in my office. While in my office I have
texted some friends and played Sudoku. I also have my mp3 player in my left ear
and my cb radio on my right shoulder. I had some coffee this morning and saved
my third cup for lunch. I put it in the fridge so it would be cold by lunch
time. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this morning. I said “Hello”
and “Good morning” to a lot of people today. Several people asked me if I was
keeping dry. I told them a little bit.

I got to see a cut little Cheewawa doggie today! It was so
cute! It was wearing three layers do to the cold. It’s been raining all day. I
can’t wait until my shift is over. I only have one hour left. My nose has been
running today and I woke up with a small sore throat but it is gone now. The
coffee I had earlier today helped get rid of it. Today a new friend of mine is
playing Frisbee golf. I wonder how they play in the rain. That’s all for now.

Reaching Out for A Bit Of Attention From Anyone

I know I haven’t blogged in a while so here is an update on
my life…

I went to about 5 or 6 interviews in the last month and they
all told me basically the same thing and that is that they are only
interviewing at this time and don’t really have any positions open but are
looking for on call people. I don’t really want to be a flux officer again but
that is what is out there right now.

Other than the fact that I am still looking for a job I am
also attempting to write a business plan. I want to open my own dance studio. I
haven’t a clue what I am a doing but I am figuring things out as they go.

Hubby and I have begun the packing process for our move to
New York. The packing is going slow but we are getting through our shit at
least.

My mom is coming home from Idaho this week and I am excited
about that. I can’t wait to see her! I haven’t seen mom since I drove up there
for her birthday in 2007.

I am a bit annoyed with one of my friends who recently just
got a new girlfriend and didn’t call and tell me about her. I will forget about
it if that friend calls me after seeing this blog and tells me “Hey I am sorry I
didn’t tell you about her but I have been busy (or something).” And then tells
me about how cool she is and everything. I don’t care what lame ass excuse he
comes up with, I’ll take it. I am just a bit annoyed with him because I thought
we were better friends then that and he would tell me. But if I don’t hear from
him then I will just assume that I just don’t matter to him that much anymore.
In which case I will be a bit upset instead of just annoyed.

Well, that is it. Not much to say really but there is the
update on my life if anyone out there cares anymore.

Holidays From 08 to 09

I do not remember when was the last time I wrote but I figured I should probably describe Christmas and New Years. On Christmas Eve I worked and missed the family get together at Hubby's family's house. Hubby brought me some Christmas cookies. I thought that was very sweet of him. So when I got home from work, there were the cookies waiting for me! I am so happy about that. Work was work that day. I had to guard a place in Santa Cruz that has five big buildings to walk around. It was pretty big. Christmas Eve was my training day for that place and on Christmas day I was there all by myself. I didn't hit all the buttons with the wand my first time around but the next time I went there I hit them all. I liked it there on Christmas because I got to watch some DVDs that were left in the guard shack. I watched Step Up 2 – The Streets and Kung Fu Panda. It was the night guard's mini DVD player.

On Christmas Day before work I went to Grandma's house for a family get together. Origionally the dinner was supposed to be at two pm but they moved it back about an hour so I could participate in Christmas. That was very nice of them to do that for me. I had to show up to Christmas in my uniform but no one minded. I had to leave at two thirty so we opened the presents within the last ten minutes of me being there. I just barely made it out on time. Then I had to go to the bathroom very badly so I stopped at a gas station to go pee and prayed I would make it to work on time. Thank goodness I did make it to work on time and had a mostly boring work day. I got off work at midnight then came home.

The next day after Christmas I thought I had that day off but I was wrong. I read the text message wrong. I really thought I wasn't scheduled. I got in trouble because I couldn't make it to work on time so they had to call in someone else to cover the shift. I felt really really really bad that day that I missed work.

On New Years Eve I had to work in downtown Santa Cruz with the police department from 18:45 to 02:00hrs. It was a very cold night and was very boring until this guy came bye and started to chat with me for a while. And then chat a while more, and then chat a while more. He stayed with me for almost my entire shift just to keep me company. So I made a new friend who lives in Santa Cruz. He said a lot of nice things about me and was a perfect gentleman the whole time. He called me a beautiful angel. I thought that was really cool since I think I look like crap in my uniform. He flattered me so much I let him give me a small kiss at midnight.

The next day on New Years I worked at that place with the five buildings again, this time without a DVD player. So I read my book. Just go through reading the seventh Harry Potter book again. I also read the New one that just came out by J.K. Rowling called The Tales of Beetle the Bard.

The day after New Years I worked at this place in Felton at a Safeway shopping center. I tell you it was one cold night. That was also the night when my Hubby decided to give me and my family a hard time.

Then on the third I was back at my normal post at a shopping center in Santa Cruz where there is also a Safeway and my new friend decided to pay me a visit and stay with me for the whole shift again. He was very nice and we played cards. First we played flux, then war, then speed, then double speed, then king's corner, then rummy. I won almost every game. He was not very good at cards. Also, somewhere in there I made a star out of paper. I like origami. He said I was very talented and patient with my hands. Isn't that nice?

Then next day on the fourth I show up for work and I was immediately texted by my boss to call the patrol guard that works my area. She then quickly whisked me off to the flea market where I stayed most of the day. When I showed up at the market I was given some papers to hand out and then I was to patrol all around the place. I was given two radios, one for my company and one for the flea market staff. I tell you when I was moved from my normal spot I wasn't looking forward to the change in pace but that is my job, to go with the flow so I accepted it graciously and did my job. At about 16:30 I was given a ride back to my car at my normal post and finished my shift at that place until 17:00.

I got Monday the fifth off which was nice but yesterday through me for a bit of a loop. I was given a message then night before on Monday, telling me to be ready that I may have work the next day. So yesterday I get as ready as I can for work and then I was told around 13:15 or so that I had to be at work as soon as possible. It takes me about an hour to get to Santa Cruz form here so I was a bit upset that I had to be there so quickly because it gave me no time to actually be on time to where I needed to be. I ended up watching a burnt down building and spent the rest of the day and part of the night being bored out of my mind.

For five hours I was outside in the cold until one of the patrol drivers told me I could bring my car around and sit in it to keep warm. Then for the next three or four hours I stayed in my car and kept warm for the most part. I kept turning my engine on and off so as not to waste too much gas or have the check engine light come on. The light came on anyways but I tried. I ended up texting various people during this time. Then when midnight rolled around and I was off duty I met up with two other guards who said they had been there since nine. I wondered at that. It didn't make sense since the patrol driver told me I was to be there until midnight. So apparently there were three guards there when there was only supposed to be two. When I called off duty, dispatch was confused as well asking me who was on duty at the time of my departure. Then I handed over my radio and left.

Now at this time there were no bathrooms around because all the places were closed and I had to go real bad to I went to the Chevron nearby and filled up my tank then tried to go inside to go pee but the idiot inside wouldn't open the door for me to go pee so I had to hold it until my car was done filling up then I went next door to the Shell station, whose bathroom was thankfully open.

After that I saw two cops trailing me on my way to the freeway. I thought "Uh oh! They are looking for some reason to pull me over I just know it." And I knew it because they were going so slow just to stay behind me. They finally found a reason to pull me over so they did and I pulled over to the side of the road. Then a voice came on a loud speaker telling me to go into the parking lot of the other gas station on that road so I did. Then the cop came up to my window and told me I had a head light out and that I should fix it. I said, "ok". I basically played stupid because it was my first time ever being pulled over and I was a bit intimidated. Next he noticed that I was a security guard and asked me if I was on duty. I told him that I had just gotten off duty and he asked me for my drivers' license. I told him my purse was in the trunk and that I could get it for him if he wished. He said no that it wasn't necessary then asked me if I was armed. I said "no." and he let me on my way without giving me a ticket. It wasn't until today that I realized that I left my drivers' license in my other jacket pocket and didn't have it with me at all. I got really really lucky that he didn't insist on seeing it yesterday. Needless to say, today Hubby fixed my headlight.

Today we also paid a bill, got some food and picked up a schedule for the ballroom place I go to. Other than that today I have been looking for a job for the rest of the week. I also checked out the job market in New York since we may be moving out there in April or so. There is a school for acting in New York that I really want to go to and some friends of ours are moving there and invited us to go with them.