When I was younger before I met my husband I had all these ideals about marriage as most people do. I dreamed of true love without knowing what it would really feel like or look like. I wanted everything to be my way and he had to be perfect as well as exactly the way I wanted it. While I was dreaming these things I was actually dating people who didn't look like my ideal at all. I wanted a sexy movie star look with a gentlemanly personality who could also make me laugh. I wanted him to love me and treat me like I am the best thing in the universe. I wanted him to be a wild but also gentle in the bedroom complete with all the skills to satisfy a woman. I wanted him to also be liberal enough to not mind my sluttish qualities and trust me to be careful which I always am. I thought he would make me feel constantly turned on and in my mind at the time everything was about sex but I didn't really notice that it was that always on my mind. I was young and had no idea what true love would feel like. My man also had to be like me who loves to dance, could sing, and perform in stage productions. He at least had to be somewhat artistic.
Who I kept dating were guys that were large, had a belly, great eyes, some were gentleman, some were not, we were together and may have even loved each other but we didn't truly work together as a team. All of them were too conservative for my tastes and all had jealousy issues that I thought. All were attracted to my sluttish qualities but didn't know how to handle it or trust me or love me but also let me be free. I understand of course. We are all conditioned by our society to thing and behave a certain way. We are all taught to think alike in most ways. As my sis has on her page "It's good for the government the people don't think." ~Hitler"
Then I found my hubby. He is a big guy, has a belly, a great bottom , and gorgeous eyes. He not only is a gentleman but treats me like his queen, loves me for me more than anything in the world, and can handle all the shit I never mean to throw at him. He not only can't sing, dance, or act, but hates even the thought of dancing. He is not really artistic but has a logical mind and speaks a whole another language of English I couldn't really understand for the longest time. Then I realized that my ideal was not my ideal. I actually prefer larger men with bellies and I get along better with my total opposite. We have for the most part similar goals, principles, child rearing ideas, and so many other things in common. We don't even like the same shows or movies. Every other activity we can agree on cost too much to do and the free activity is well never the way we imagine it to be. Though it is fun to try. I am the luckest bitch in the world.
I love my hubby so much and all my other friends. The people in my life right now are what makes me truly happy. There were so many years when no one, no one at all cared for me (or so I thought cause they didn't tell me otherwise). It truly is a blessing to feel loved by family and friends even if it doesn't always go the way you think it will or want it to. Usually things go very different from what we expect. I think the key to happiness is in your mindset, how you deal with situations as they come, and your attitude choices. Just go with the flow, roll with the punches so you don't get hurt, don't let things bother you so much, and when they do stand up for yourself calmly, rationally, and sternly. Much love to you all. Peace.
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